Homecoming 2020

Now Playing: Who I Am by Natasha Bedingfield
Mood: Somewhat sleepy...but very reflective

In a world where everyone has a lot to say, it can be quite a struggle to find your own voice. Among the estimated 7 billion people around the globe, some are lucky to be heard, while other voices get drowned amongst the noise. So more often than not, some choose to stay silent, thinking nobody will probably listen anyway.

Silence, however, has its way of getting too loud. It can be quite deafening, especially when there are countless things you know you want to say, all those thoughts at the back of your mind. One way or another, you're going to need to let it out.

Photo not mine. I just got this from Coffee Girl Facebook page. Credit goes to the original poster.

Not too long ago, I was browsing through my Facebook feed and stumbled upon the shared photo above. Reading through the caption struck me deeply that I found myself staring at it longer than necessary before saving it on to my camera roll. 

A listener needs a listener too.  

Given my introverted nature, I find myself spending more time listening than talking even though I know I have a lot to say. It's like I have this constant battle between wanting to be seen or heard, and wanting to remain invisible. I usually get nervous around people (or at least my younger self did) so I had to find another outlet to express myself. That's when I have discovered my penchant for the world of writing-slash-blogging. 

Both have been an outlet for me ever since I was at the peak of my teenage years. God knows how many blog platforms I have created and deleted over time (hello Multiply,  LJ, Bloggers, Tumblr & Wordpress). Whether it's on paper or it's posted somewhere out there in the depths of the internet, I seem to have found a safe haven where I feel like I can freely be myself. It has connected me to some people, both friends & strangers-turned- to some of my closest friends out there, who surprisingly found comfort in my words & random stories. It's heartwarming, to say the least. It felt right. 

It felt like I was home.

And just like that, I'm reminded of the home I've been trying to build over this space...or at least I have been attempting to do so for the past 15 years. 

Throughout those years, I've been trying to find my own voice, hoping to make this space a very special one. I'd find myself thinking from time to time, what will make misssimplissity stand out among the many blogs existing out there? What will make people interested to listen to what I have to say? Will they even be interested at all?

If I'm truly honest, there are times when I have considered giving this up, thinking that perhaps I'm being too ambitious. But then there's this voice constantly nagging at the back of my head: 

WHY am I doing this, anyway? What exactly am I doing this for?

The first answer that came to mind was because it makes up a big part of who I am as a person - an aspiring creative & writer. All of a sudden, the fear of being unheard, unnoticed, and not being "unique" enough don't seem to matter as much. It's not about who's doing it better, or it being a popularity race. I'm doing this because I want to share relatable pieces of myself, hoping it can make whoever's reading feel that he or she's not alone. 

You are not alone.

Likewise, I want to create a fun & safe space not just for me, but as well as for my readers-slash-LISteners (lol see what I did there? Pun slightly intended. Kbye!). In a way, I hope this can serve as good company for you & your musings at whichever time of the day it is, especially during these strange times the world is currently facing.

It's still a long way to go, and I'm still in the midst of embracing these personal changes within myself, along with easing into this so-called new normal but all I can say for now is...

It's good to be back home and I can't wait to share it with all of you.


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